Needed: Model
A few years ago, I worked at ad agency Euro RSCG New York (now called Havas). Things frequently used to jump from desk to desk there with little rhyme or reason, and one day I inadvertently became owner of a large stack of model cards that were very clearly from the late 1990s. They were a perfect storm of comedy - outdated fashions, worn by sometimes unattractive, desperate-looking people. We used to sort through these cards in down times and marvel at the choices made in their composition. This segued into a little game where we pretended we were in on the casting session. This led to Needed: Model.
Below are some examples. The full collection can be seen at neededmodel.wordpress.com.
Needed: Stella Needed: Model. Even though you’re plus-size, you’re no slouch! Okay, maybe you are. Just sloth on down to our office (please bring your finest ribbed wool or corduroy robe and a cocktail dress you got off a hobo) and give us as many poses as it takes to convince us never to buy from this catalog again.
Needed: Deena Needed: Model. Being a teenager is hard! We need a talented teen for a concept piece. Prepare to portray the classic teenage angst of deciding between a young lady’s only choices in life, streetwalker or church lady.
Needed: Chuck Needed: Model. We are looking for that elusive gentleman who can pull off three tough looks: Kansas City investment banker, part-time gay rodeo understudy, and casual prisoner with lotsa stuff in his pockets.
Needed: Emilie Needed: Model. Young Amelie lookalike needed to put on a swimsuit and see something unsettling in the orange room, then put on a dress and back into the gray hallway, then put on street clothes and continue to back away slowly.
Needed: Malla Needed: Model. We need an E.T.-like creature to come in and pose as a little girl. Wear pink, floral prints, whatever you can do to convince us you’re from Alabama and not Alpha Centauri. Your eyes should speak of the innocent hope of youth and the godless expanse of the cosmos.
Needed: Kayden Needed: Model. We are looking for a little slice of hell on earth. Are you demonspawn? Do you, with one gaze of your eyes and crack of your blood-flecked maw, fill our hearts with dread, our minds with unspeakable horrors, and our pants with excrement? If so, please bring a vest.
Needed: Ludy Needed: Model. Unappealing woman needed to model the most unflattering clothes we could find in the dumpster of a Lithuanian Wal-Mart. Be ready to portray lady-in-red-who-didn’t-actually-get-invited-to-the-party, tennis-player-with-back-problems, and franken-banker.